Mitali's boyfriend, Derek, came over from Houston for a long-weekend visit on Friday, and he brought with him a present for me all the way from Texas, Hot-N-Hot Texas Jumbo Jelly Beans. These jelly beans are about the size of your thumb, red, and spicy. They taste similar to the spicy heart candies that you can find around Valentines day. They are comprised of a fairly short list of ingredients: sugar, corn syrup, dextrose monohydrate, modified food starch, tapioca dextrin, food glaze, natural and artificial flavor, and artificial coloring.
From the outside they appear harmless. Inside your mouth they are strong, but not overwhelming. Apparently innocuous I proceeded to snack on them from time to time throughout the course of the day about two days ago. Now I regret that decision severely.
These jelly beans from Texas are oral atomic bombs. An individual packet of oral VX nerve gas that attacks the flesh on your tongue. Eating one over the course of a week or so will probably lead to no harmful effects. Eating the amount I did, about five or seven, in the course of a day will leave you with no ability to taste anything at all. Currently my tongue is in a constant state of agitated pain as it rests devoid of any ability to taste within the cavity of my mouth. I hope beyond hope that tomorrow I will awake to discover that I can enjoy the taste of food once again. The sorrow of eating a Subway sandwich last night without tasting its marvelousness was almost too much to bear.
Let this be a warning to all of you. Stay away from Hot-N-Hot Texas Jumbo Jelly Beans! Currently I plan on taking these WOMD (Weapons of Oral Mass Destruction) back home to Canada and placing them in a glass car with a Bio-harzard sign on the front. A warning to those haughty fools that would dare tempt destiny by consuming one.